Perfect Day...

DAY OFF!
No pressure of uni work, was all handed in yesterday, just have to do the last two pieces by 15th June that i have under extenuating circumstances and my second year is done! whoooop!
Lay in this morning, was heaven! When i finally got my oversized ass out of bed, went to the post office and picked up my Euros! Waheeeey! Just a reminder, that im SOOOOO excited about my holiday to Ayia Napa on sunday! Much deserve, this year has been a poo one to say the least! My last day at work tomorrow, 12 hour shift (boo) but then I am off for like... 11 days! (and intend on coming back v v tanned!)
Came home, did some of my key skills work for my NVQ at work, looked at student finance for next year, got confused so left it with a note to self to give them a call at some point, and intended on starting my other essay, but wrote the title and gave up!
Gave house a nice clean, took hours (not because i live like a dirty tramp...) but because I was dancing around the house to Capital FM whilst doing it...
Had a really good day food wise; Actimel and WW bread as toast this morning, and for dinner i made turkey and chorizo pasta, with Light Tomato and Basil Philledelphia! was lovely! i did skip lunch.. but i was so busy getting on with everything else, i forgot all about it! was 5pm before i new it!
Oh and before i forget, i had a lovely present delivered by the postman today! My wonderful auntie brought me a food diary, where you can record how you feel, what youve eaten, exercise, all that sort of stuff... but its from my favourite place! paperchase! and its gorgeous! (now to treat myself to a new bag to put it in and carry it round with me) :) So, i know your read this, thankyou very much... i feel it will help me loads in my weight loss journey, and was very thoughtful of you x


Didnt do much this evening, had a friend over for a couple of hours, and we both LOVE Jason Statham, so watched Death Race... never seen it before, very graphic! but amazing film! and man... he is HOT! Had a chat and catch up, and was really nice! though we did starting talking about my weird obsession with even numbers... its almost like an ocd... the TV volume has to be on an even number, radio, car radio, i flinch if its not! its beginning to get worse, yesterday i found myself counting the number of bites of a sandwich i took, counting the pasta on my plate and changing the holiday menu at work, because it had 3 lemons, so i change it to 4! very weird.. i dont even notice im doing it anymore, but my boyfriend quite likes to remind me im weird!
Do any of you have a weird OCD? 


Anyway i think i am done rambling... 


Sophie x

Lovely Eve :)

But it didnt start so lovely... i have been sat in the library pretty much all day at uni, and didnt achieve very much! Boyfriend picked me up, went to sainsburys and brought another £80 of unnecessary holiday clothes which i really didnt need, and which still make me feel like im wearing clothes big enough to put on my bed as bedsheets! Its ridiculous how much stuff i have brought, and to be honest, after this holiday i hope to never be as big as i am now again, so ill only get 1 use out of them! (happy to donate them to the homeless to keep them warm in the winter...)
Got home from all this, with my determined head on to get some uni work, but as usual... didnt happen!


So, instead of doing my uni work i went to see my friend Gubb, and another friend came over... and got me to do allll his work instead of doing mine! 
But it was really good to catch up, talk about being fat (not gonna lie, i laugh about it, whats the point sitting at home crying into a piece of cake and getting even fatter), and life in general. though the subject of my odd boobs came up, and the fact that maybe i should wear stripes the other way... :/ this wont make any sense to you if your reading and your not Hayley or Pat, im just babbling shit.
ended up watching glee (I LOVE GLEE), talking about what kind of dog i would be... yes Ted, i would be you in the doggie world! gossiping and bitching about people not inviting us to their parties and people with dirty hair. its just how we roll (even tho im big, im not sure ive actually got it in me to actually roll...)


Anyway, uni work then bed! ready for a long day tomorrow... just wanted to dedicate my little pathetic post to my friends :)

Argh Early Mornings :(

Seeing as i have been a RUBBISH blogger as of late, i thought i would also share my misery of sitting in the library, tired-er than i have ever felt before (or remember feeling) while the sun is shining, having a research project to complete before tomorrow!!!!
Started the day pretty well, Acai Berry vitamin, Frosted Wheat, Actimel and a Banana. So that should be enough fuel to see me through till like 2pm and write 10293058 words right?!

So before i get on with my work, i am going to sit here and moan about lack of sleep due to my boyfriend's disgusting ways... snoring, farting that smells so bad it wakes me up and just generally waking up to find i have no duvet and ive been pushed to the edge of our Kingsize bed! Grr...
On the plus side, 5 days now ladies and gentleman! 5 days and like 6 hours(?!) until i have to squeeze my MAHOOSIVE behind into my seat on the plane, and jet off to Cyprus! (and im leaving the boyfriend at home, so hopefully i wont be so sleep deprived). Have any of you been before? is it cheap? did you come back really brown? is the food ok? ( i dont just worry about this because as a fat girl i love food... i suffer from IBS and get really worried about what i eat etc.. though looking at me you cant tell that!)
Do any of my readers have IBS? and if so, what types of things do you do to keep it under wraps? Ive been told mine is stress related, after eliminating most food groups over a period of time, and it having no impact!

Okay, so avoidance of uni work can no longer commence... feel free to drop me a line on twitter, here, facebook, whatever works for you, as long as it doesnt involve the words, uni work, research!

Also, im fairly new to blogging, can anyone explain the whole putting pictures on and making it all pretty!? 

Cheers :)
Sophie x

Better Late Than Never...?

Evening All,
Firstly my apologises for the lack of blogging the last few days, had a long weekend at work, lots of things going on, and not a moment to myself! I wouldn't mind, but not I get a moment to myself, i'm too tired to do anything! My mum rang and told me my auntie keeps looking out for my blog, and my lovely cousin tweeted me asking where my blog has disappeared to! so this one is deffo for you :) Especially you Laura... My cousin is fighting a battle, one opposite to mine, but we both have the same result to aim for... I am fully supportive of her, and think she is amazing and doing so well, despite everything we, as a family have been going through. I know we can both do it, just remember that doughnut. 


So hope you have all been will, I can't complain too much apart from working through the beautiful weather! boo! But its now only 6 days until i fly to... AYIA NAPA! :)


Food wise, I haven't been too awful. Not going to lie, havent been great! Sunny weather = BBQ's, Cider and lots of ice cream! But I have been busy doing a ton of exercise, been on my feet pretty much since Thursday last week!
Havent really got any thing to rant about, or moan about, which isn't like me!
Food wise, like all my mornings I have started with my Actimel, maybe a banana, or any other fruit i can get my hands on whilst at work, but have completely forgot about taking my Acai Berry for a whole 4 days; and if i am honest, i feel a lot more sluggish for not taking it! So i have officially left it out on the kitchen side, ready to grab hold of tomorrow morning! 
Do you take any vitamins? and do they help with how you feel/losing weight? or do we think they could be psychological?!
Also, im packing up my case, with all my new lovely (but wish they were smaller) holiday clothes! Yet i can't resist treats at the moment. What snacks do you think give you that guilty pleasure feeling without all the calories?
Dreading the scales this week... but as always i will keep you informed!


Im back to blogging with a vengence!
(well until Sunday when i hit cyprus!)


Sophie x

3LBs Lighter! whoop :)

Okay, so my weigh day isn't until tomorrow, but I have such a busy day planned I thought I would get it over and done with today! and I lost 3lb :)! That's 9lb gone in 2 weeks! My excitement was short lived, after my boyfriend got on the scales too and was 4lb lighter, even though he had definitely over indulged this week! WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?! (though I am still really pleased with myself!)
It is only 10 days to go and I will be on my way to AYIA NAPA! I actually cannot wait! I have pretty much finished all my holiday shopping; sun cream and all! Just got my snacks and bits to pick up to put in my case to keep me going and avoid binge eating on bad food; especially with all the hangover's I hope to be having!


So I am making most of this nice weather, while trying to! I spent all day yesterday in the library writing an essay (which i finished and handed in) and after that I had work till half 9! Today has been my full day off, and its been so cloudy here and not that warm in comparison to yesterday! BUT...tomorrow should be beaut, and I have plans with a friend to walk to Instow (not sure how far it is), go to the beach, and then have lunch and possibly a cheeky drink ;)! But I think I deserve 1, maybe 2!


Food wise; not feeling as hungry as I previously have done, may mean by big beastly tum is getting smaller (or it could just be I don't feel like eating much when its hot!). Just eaten a Weight Watchers Crustless Cheese and Onion Quiche, with Tesco's Beetroot Salad; was lush! No plans for dinner yet, may just have a jacket potato or pasta salad!
Until then, I have some more uni work to get done! joy!
P.s. thinking of having a BBQ Fri/Sat... what are your tips for eating healthy and BBQ tips?


Hope your all well, and Thankyou for reading and supporting! In the 6 days I have been doing this I have had over 1000 Views! So cheers guys :)


Sophie x

Home Sweet Home.. :)

Evening :)
So after a long day of sitting on the coach, i get home to hear the boyfriend tell me he is taking me out for dinner :) Because he is a chef and works long hours we rarely get to go out for dinner so it is a lovely surprise! We are going to Prezzo and ive had a sneaky peak at the menu, and I am going to make good choices! I am going to enjoy myself, but also try and eat a relatively low in calorie meal! But im really looking forward to it! At first i talked myself in not wanting to go, and worrying about what i was going to eat, but i want to teach myself that i can still go out, have fun and not over indulge!


Then we are going to go to Tesco to have a little look at their holiday clothes, seeing as its only 13 DAYS UNTIL MY HOLIDAY :)! and see if i can pick out some nice swim wear for relaxing by the pool with! I am most excited by this! I know im still going to look like a beach whale for this holiday, but hopefully its the first and last being a heffa!


Food wise, another pretty good day... we all know how i start my days now, with Actimel and a Banana, and had a nice bowl of porridge to start the day. Then in Bristol where i had to wait half an hour before the next coach left i popped to Greggs and got a salad oval bite, which for 320 calories i think was reasonable, and tasty! And now for my treat tonight! Seeing as i had a very good weekend despite celebrating a birthday and missing out on a wedding, i feel i deserve a treat! 
Then when i get home, uni work, and watch a film in bed! 


Perfect night for me!
Sophie x

The Not So Exciting Day It Should Have Been...

Well, I don't have to worry about watching what I eat at this wedding i had planned... I haven't gone. got all dressed up and felt beautiful but Mum isn't feeling well so its turned into a night in for me, while she sleeps it off. Sister is out for her Birthday meal with friends (and i felt too dressed up to go out for that and they were going to TGI fridays, and as much as I love their food, it is incredibly hard to make good food decisions there so I stayed well clear!) so its 8pm, I'm in my PJ's and ready for bed. What an exciting life I lead... NOT!
Not much to blog about today... (though I'm sure ill find stuff to ramble on about)


Food wise it has been a good day and instead of eating horrifically calorific wedding food I am having a tin of Heinz Tomato and Butterbean Soup. At only 91 Calories per serving(half a tin); its tasty and filling and just what I need to avoid getting the munchies later on tonight! (though seeing as I haven't gone to the wedding, a small slice of my sisters birthday cake may be on the card with my film later!)
Started my day with my Actimel as usual and a piece of toast with Marmite which I loveee :). On the subject of Marmite, I was in Selfridges a few weeks ago and there was a whole range of Marmite products... including chocolate with Marmite in! Curiosity got the better of me, and brought some... and I will admit Marmite, as much as i love your product; that definitely is a very acquired taste! One i do not possess; and can honestly say if that was the only chocolate left on the earth, this dieting and avoidance of all things naughty would be the easiest!!
For lunch I had chicken pasta salad which had beetroot salad in from Tesco which is around 100 calories for 100g which I think was definitely worth it, because it was also the dressing to my pasta salad! Also in my salad was chicken breast, sweetcorn, cucumber, onion and Jalapeños which are one of my favourite foods and add that kick to liven up most types of food! I also had 40g of cheese grated in, added to the taste and really enjoyed it! Will definitely be having it again! 
Haven't done much exercise today to be honest, had a typical lazy Sunday which is nice, because next Sunday i'll be at work! Spent a lot of the day writing an essay for university which needs to be in on Tuesday and I'm doing well! Its on a subject I am actually interested in which makes a difference! All to do with childhood obesity and physical movement and reading some of the statistics I have found on the growing levels of obesity is shocking! But has also been motivating to lose the flab and avoid the health risks that comes with being a giant fatty that I am!


Anyway, I think that is it for today... Nothing else to report or moan about!
Soup time, film and cake, maybe a bit more uni work and then bed for me, ready for another 7 hour coach journey back to good old Bideford! (lets hope I get a more comfortable coach this time!)


Sophie x

Positive Day In Many Ways...

Okay, so another late night post from me, well, its 9.25pm, but to me, after being up from 3am is very late! But as they say... no rest for the wicked! (i cant help but think i must have been incredibly wicked in a former life... but hey!)
Today... well has just been a lovely lovely day :) 
I have eaten well, been shopping (which means i am now poor with sore feet but yay for all the exercise) and had a lovely family day.
I live in Devon now, with the OH, and my mum and sister live in Birmingham; so i came up for the weekend because my MY BABY SISTER IS GOING TO BE 21 TOMORROW! eeek *excitement*! But also my Auntie and Cousin who live in Nailsea (Somerset/Bristol) came up for the day too! we met up on the coach at 8.30, even though i had already been on it for like 5 hours before hand! yawn! and all carried on up to Birmingham together! Spent the day shopping in Merry Hill (where i finished shopping for sisters birthday, ate a yum subway, and treated myself without going to OTT). The day also consisted of catching up, girlie talk, lots of laughs and talking a lot about my nan... was quite emotional, but i felt her around me the whole day. I am beginning to think this blog isn't just about getting my body healthy and losing weight, but mentally writing down and sharing how i am feeling is helping too. I have never experienced the pain of losing a loved one before, so i am new to this whole grieving thing (not that i'm suggesting it gets any easier or is ever the same as a previous experience) but it also makes me feel close to my nan; because i write almost to her, and about her all at once.  So yeah... tomorrow is going to be a good day! Birthday fun, and in the evening i have been invited to my very first Asian Wedding! *note to self, avoid all fried food at this wedding, because i know there will be a feast of food, and avoid birthday cake!!!* MUST STAY ON TRACK!


Anyway... food wise... started and ended very well! eaten really well.. i wont bore you with a food diary, but as always an Actimel and Banana to start the day... even if that was at 3am this morning! No Snacking apart from fruit, and 3 healthy, and pretty low calorie meals! Though i will say for tea, i had some Simmer Soup from Asda; a chicken noodle one! It serves 3 and is only 32 Calories a portion; so if your feeling extra hungry (and believe me, after all the shopping i did, i worked up an appetite) you can have a pint of yummy soup for under 100 calories! On a not so good note, i brought myself a bottle of Volvic A Touch Of Lemon and Lime Water (750ml) for my coach journey; and have just found the bottle. As nice as it was, it had more calories in than my pint of soup! Shocking Stuff! and a ton of sugar in too! ( i am aware there is a sugar-free version with much fewer calories, but in a rush i picked the wrong one!) Was nice, but definately not worth 177 calories; and after drinking it all, my bladder lost control! numerous toilet trips to a toilet on a National Express coach that wouldnt lock! Grr! (could have been embarrassing...) 
But that reminds me; i need to have another little moan about my long coach journey..! bloody coach seats! i have never remembered being so uncomfortable in one before (and i do make this journey a fair few times a year). i think my bottom may have spread without realisation of this happening (even though i am actually lighter now than i was when i last sat on a National Express coach) or... they are making coach seats smaller! With Britain getting bigger, National Express, i believe you may need to accommodate for those of us who have big bottoms; even though the intention is to shrink mine! Anyway; rant over!
Exercise Wise; apart from the horrendous 7 hour coach journey sat on my big bottom, i've been walking around a big shopping centre, carrying heavy bags which means burning calories! (oh and not forgetting the marathon on the coach from my seat to the loo every 5 mins!)


Anyway last thought of the day (although i am sure this may trigger other points i want to mention) healthy snacks? Can anyone recommend any amazingly good ones that are no more than 100 calories? Need to start sorting some bits and bobs out, because in 2 weeks time ill be packed and ready to go to AYIA NAPA for a week! Whoooop :) and was going to take some little snacky bits with me so i can have a good time, without going too off track!


Anyway, I hope you have all had a fun Saturday with whatever you got up to :) 


Sophie x
PS, after reading this back, i am quite aware i have done a lot of rambling and moaning (is it obvious that im tired?!) Rather than delete it and have to write it all out again; please accept my apologies; im not usually this much of a moaner :)

Dont Do Today What You Can Put Off Until Tomorrow...

So today....
Started so so well! Started with my Actimel and Banana as i always do, before starting my 14 hour stretch at work (argh i know...) and the rest of my day looks a bit like this...
Breakfast
2 Weetabix with skimmed milk (and 1 very teeny tiny teaspoon of sugar... I HATE SWEETNERS)
1 piece of seeded bread with peanut butter (carbs and protein.. full of energy)
Then i went swimming with the guys from work which as always was fun :)
Lunch
Jacket Potato
WW Tuna (coronation tuna... LUSH)
Salad
Mini Muller Corner (strawberry)
and then...
CHINESE!!! oooops.... well i had a chow mein- which if i look at the WW plan (even though i am not following it...) was a decent choice to make! and it would have been rude not to... we had a member of staff leave today, and it was her last evening :( But i must admit.. i actually didn't really enjoy it... which is a bonus! and i did feel pretty guilty for eating it


So.. my day away from food, busy, long, but fun as always, i love my job... and im always on my feet which helps with the exercise!
Was really nice to hear from family and friends who have read my blog, and all the positive comments. Your support means a lot... also the boyfriend i mentioned in my last post sent me a text this morning saying "i've read your blog, and im so proud of you". since we have been together i have always been big, and he has loved me regardless... he really is lovely... but i can't wait for him to see a different me, one i can be proud of so i feel like he can feel proud to have me as a girlfriend.. i know he probably does already but hey... its about how i feel in myself right?


Bit of a boring one today, seeing as its now like 10pm and i have to be up and on a coach at 4! But will be worth it... got a lovely weekend planned, even though i know the next few days will be hard. I wish to pay a little tribute to the best nan that ever lived, who passed away 4 weeks away tomorrow. i cant believe its been 4 weeks already... but i feel you around me all the time, and this journey to get healthy is to make you proud <3 x


I am determined to stay on track, it's what my nan would want, even if he motto in life was ' dont do today what you can put off until tomorrow...' but i guess i can't keep putting my health on hold! watch this space... my blogging will commence as usual :)


Love
Sophie x

The Wonderful but maybe not so supportive CHEF Boyfriend!

Okay, so first thing... YES im overweight, and NO, having a chef boyfriend DOES NOT help...
ESPECIALLY when as he is about to leave to go back to work, the words... "ill bring you some key-lime pie home" leave his lips.
We've only been together 5 years! jeez! you know im dieting.
I know he has a lovely heart... and the Key Lime pie does sound amazing, especially because i have never tried it before, and i love limes... but NO!
Usually he is very supportive... although meal times are not fun! he doesn't like any vegetable except peas... oh and corn on the cob if its covered in butter! so im forever having to make separate meals.. which when you work long hours and have a ton of university work to finish anyway isn't appealing in its self. its so easy to say, lets get take out, put a pizza in the oven or just eat sandwiches!
But no more... 


Today my food intake looks a bit like this:
Brunch
Scrambled Egg (2 eggs and a dash of Semi-Skimmed Milk)
Baked Beans (small tin)
WW bread (1 piece)
This was more of a brunch then breakfast or lunch, because of it being my only day off until forever... i decided to be lazy and stay in bed!
Snacks
Banana
Multi-fruit Actimel (i swear by drinking one of these a day... you can buy the 0% fat ones which have around 30 calories in regardless of flavour, but for a small bit of pleasure in the day, i tend to drink the normal ones (multifruit one is 77 calories)).


Havent had dinner yet, but it looks like its going to be roast lamb with a jacket potato, gravy lots of veg and mint sauce! yum! and probably a few more bits of fruit!
Also, i have started taking Acai Berry from Holland and Barratts... these are triple strength and are meant to be full of antioxidants and goodness, and also help with weight loss... (but ill let you know)


Sophie x
P.s. im quite impressed with myself.. day one and two posts... (please dont expect this regularly... im never this organised...)

New (and first ever) Blog.... New (and improved) Me!

Okay...
So i suppose i better introduce myself... Sophie, 22, Gemini, Support Worker, Uni Student, Obese, Unfit, Binge Eater, Lover of Crisps, Lover of Food Period, Serial Yo-Yo Dieter... Hense why i am in this mess!


I have been trying to lose the LBS for over a year... i do really well, lost a stone, gain a stone, lose a stone, gain a stone... BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!


I weighed myself today... and i wasn't impressed with what i saw... 18st 4lb! last time i weighed myself i was over half a stone lighter than i am now. OK i've had a tough few months; i wont bore you with details, but this isn't who i am. I don't feel as big as i am... But the scales don't lie!


I have made a pact to myself, to the people i love, that i will lose this weight, because i want to be able to walk into stores such as River Island, Topshop, Urban Outfitters etc... and pick out whatever i want, without getting the cold sweat on knowing it won't fit! I also want to walk without feeling like im suffering a heart attack... I want to run, I want to feel good in myself, I want to make everyone proud... and I want to look in the mirror without wondering where that extra stretch mark came from... 
Those are the things i do want... but there are the things i dont....

• I don't want to dread shopping trips with my friends who buy all these gorgeous and fab outfits; and they don't go into my size.
• I don't want to dread that "lets go out this weekend" because the nightmare of getting ready, looking at myself, feeling horrendous in clothes that look big enough to be bedsheets, crying and getting into bed making some ridiculous excuse why i can't make it out!
• I dont want to live in denial... Its about time i faced this battle head on!
• and... I do not want to be everyones fat friend, the biggest out of everyone, and the fat girl that has a good sense of humour... because although i am pretty funny... i no longer want to be part of the stereotype of the fat funny friend.

I have tried Weight Watchers, which worked pretty well for me; but i have been away a lot and i am not ready to face the whole group thing again just yet... Ive also tried slimming world, which was a disaster... so now im doing it at home, eating well, exercise; all that jazz without the £5 a week membership fee. I will be weighing myself on my Nintendo Wii Fit... ( i know alot of people have different views on the scales.. but i use it all the time, i love some of the games for weight loss you can get on there, and i love how it tracks progress)

So here it goes... my first day of blogging.. my first day of the rest of my life (i love a cheesy line...)

Advice... Support... All is Welcome

Tomorrow i will put a picture of myself on here as i am now... (dreading this...)

Sophie

<3 x