So, I am feeling more positive, less sad, focused, happy, a little hungry (but thats because i haven't had tea yet) and relaxed. and a little tired if i am honest.
Spent the day visiting friends, and my friends cat while a friend is away on Holiday. It has been a lovely lovely day, and it hasn't finished yet. I intend on spending the evening watching films, relaxing, sleeping and having lots of me time!
Diet wise, I feel like I am doing well, I am focused; weighing everything out again, writing down everything I eat, trying to drink plenty of water, eating lots of fruit and vegetables and taking my Acai Berry every day! I know my Grandad would be proud. He is my motivator. As well as the rest of my family, my boyfriend, and all my amazing friends.
Exercise wise, I have done lots of walking, and if I can be bothered I will be on the Wii fit later!
Tomorrow will be a test.. Being at work for 12 hours! But advice from two of my friend, I will take my own snacks, and enough to share as well as plenty of gum to keep my mouth busy... sugar free gum rather than a bourbon... ill give it a shot!
Now, rather than sitting here rambling about shit, I have house work to do, and tea to make. Chris is in for a treat tonight! I never cook dinner for him too haha! Grilled chicken with Chinese flavoured rice and vegetables! Yum!
Love x
Thursday, 28 June 2012
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
Out with the old...
So... I havent blogged in a few days, because i've had a pretty tough week. Worked lots the weekend, and since yesterday, relaxing and unwinding has been a priority; even though i have spent a lot of it feeling sad.
Saturday will be my Nans birthday, and if i am honest, i am dreading that day. I believe to be very much stuck in the denial stage of grief, because i do not have to face her home without her there living so far away, and i can tell myself she is sat in her chair, reading her magazines, doing a crossword, or waiting for me to pop round for a cuddle and a natter!
When i saw my Grandad last week i promised him i would give the weight loss a real shot... and if i am honest, i havent been doing that. Well, i hadn't been. I kept starting the day really well, and getting worse as the day progressed... always saying to myself, ill do better tomorrow! yet tomorrow really doesn't ever come! Though it has now... because i realised i don't want to dread trips out walking with friends, or going to the local pub because its up hill and i feel like im suffering a heart attack every time i attempt it. and i do not want to have to buy fat peoples clothes forever. I dont want to feel guilty when i eat, wondering if people are thinking.. oh dear theres the FAT girl eating again...
So, no more fat girl. on the inside i have never been fat, i have never felt as big as i am, and it wasnt until last week when i didnt just look in the mirror... i LOOKED and really saw the damage i am doing to my body.
So starting as i mean to go on, food wise had a really good couple of days. Starting as usual with my Actimel, banana and my acai berry pills.
Been eating salads, and giving them more flavour with a couple of sundried tomatoes. in bulk they are not a good choice! but i only add a couple chop them up small and they taste lush! and Jalepenos, they dont have many calories but i love them and excite my boring salad!
The real struggle for me is at work, where its so easy to pick at crisps, biscuits, cakes, just food in general... But thats an obstacle i need to tackle myself!
But heres to trying... because this is the diary of the fat girl who will get healthy. Emotionally, Mentally and Physically.
Sophie x
Saturday will be my Nans birthday, and if i am honest, i am dreading that day. I believe to be very much stuck in the denial stage of grief, because i do not have to face her home without her there living so far away, and i can tell myself she is sat in her chair, reading her magazines, doing a crossword, or waiting for me to pop round for a cuddle and a natter!
When i saw my Grandad last week i promised him i would give the weight loss a real shot... and if i am honest, i havent been doing that. Well, i hadn't been. I kept starting the day really well, and getting worse as the day progressed... always saying to myself, ill do better tomorrow! yet tomorrow really doesn't ever come! Though it has now... because i realised i don't want to dread trips out walking with friends, or going to the local pub because its up hill and i feel like im suffering a heart attack every time i attempt it. and i do not want to have to buy fat peoples clothes forever. I dont want to feel guilty when i eat, wondering if people are thinking.. oh dear theres the FAT girl eating again...
So, no more fat girl. on the inside i have never been fat, i have never felt as big as i am, and it wasnt until last week when i didnt just look in the mirror... i LOOKED and really saw the damage i am doing to my body.
So starting as i mean to go on, food wise had a really good couple of days. Starting as usual with my Actimel, banana and my acai berry pills.
Been eating salads, and giving them more flavour with a couple of sundried tomatoes. in bulk they are not a good choice! but i only add a couple chop them up small and they taste lush! and Jalepenos, they dont have many calories but i love them and excite my boring salad!
The real struggle for me is at work, where its so easy to pick at crisps, biscuits, cakes, just food in general... But thats an obstacle i need to tackle myself!
But heres to trying... because this is the diary of the fat girl who will get healthy. Emotionally, Mentally and Physically.
Sophie x
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Bad Life Choices...
The title is pretty self explanatory... Yes I just spent a week in an alcoholics state in Ayia Napa, and Yes i came home with the intentions of Detoxing. But No. I didn't stick to it. I had a wicked night out Friday night, full of friends, laughing, free alcohol, bad life choices, an annoyed boyfriend and some ridiculously hilariously photographs.
But what can I say. I am too easily led.
Food wise... not gonna lie, hasnt been great. but tomorrow is Monday, and I am back on it! But for now, I am sitting with the best, well, she is ironing, and were drinking WKD, munching peanut M&Ms and Doritos. Im sure you'll read this mum and feel so proud!
Ill update later or tomorrow with a blog about being on a diet... seeing as this is what i started this for. and not just to talk about my bad life choices, my morals, and eating and drinking the wrong things!
Love x
But what can I say. I am too easily led.
Food wise... not gonna lie, hasnt been great. but tomorrow is Monday, and I am back on it! But for now, I am sitting with the best, well, she is ironing, and were drinking WKD, munching peanut M&Ms and Doritos. Im sure you'll read this mum and feel so proud!
Ill update later or tomorrow with a blog about being on a diet... seeing as this is what i started this for. and not just to talk about my bad life choices, my morals, and eating and drinking the wrong things!
Love x
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Brilliant Day...
So... a busy, boring, but brilliant day. Another essay done for uni, and only have one more to go and its due on Tuesday! So weekend of hard work for me, before i head to Birmingham Sunday night to celebrate my Birthday with my family :) Much as i love living in Devon, I do miss them terribly. Also, my boyfriend is buying me a Pandora for my Birthday and i am going to go and pick it then! I am a lucky girl!
Food wise, it has been a good day too! My probiotic drink this morning with a banana and some Oat-So-Simple golden syrup porridge. Kept my brain going during my 5 hour stint sat in the library writing my essay!
Lunch was a WW quiche and beans, and dinner was Spaghetti and Meatballs. Snacked quite a bit though, but all pretty low calorie stuff. Light babybel (86 Cal for 2), Alpen light bar (63 cals) and some Velvet crunch (89 calories i think) so not too bad! but kept my mind off food whilst i was writing my essay.
Ive noticed i eat out of boredom... so my new trick is reading, keeping myself busy, and to be honest- sleep! little naps, which I've much needed since being back from Ayia Napa. I think my body is trying to tell me to slow down a bit!
Talking of Ayia Napa, my sister got back today, looking forward to hearing the stories from the last few days!
While on the subject of holidays; I made myself a mini-goal today. Me and my boyfriend are hoping to go away in October, for a week in Egypt... have any of you been? So my mini goal is to lose 2 stone by then. It may not sound like a lot in respect of how much weight i would like to lose, but i do not want to put more pressure on myself, and feel like that goal is achievable and anything else is a bonus!
Anyway; I am taking myself to bed! 12 Hour shift tomorrow. Then Birthday celebrations for myself and my friend Gubb!
:)
Food wise, it has been a good day too! My probiotic drink this morning with a banana and some Oat-So-Simple golden syrup porridge. Kept my brain going during my 5 hour stint sat in the library writing my essay!
Lunch was a WW quiche and beans, and dinner was Spaghetti and Meatballs. Snacked quite a bit though, but all pretty low calorie stuff. Light babybel (86 Cal for 2), Alpen light bar (63 cals) and some Velvet crunch (89 calories i think) so not too bad! but kept my mind off food whilst i was writing my essay.
Ive noticed i eat out of boredom... so my new trick is reading, keeping myself busy, and to be honest- sleep! little naps, which I've much needed since being back from Ayia Napa. I think my body is trying to tell me to slow down a bit!
Talking of Ayia Napa, my sister got back today, looking forward to hearing the stories from the last few days!
While on the subject of holidays; I made myself a mini-goal today. Me and my boyfriend are hoping to go away in October, for a week in Egypt... have any of you been? So my mini goal is to lose 2 stone by then. It may not sound like a lot in respect of how much weight i would like to lose, but i do not want to put more pressure on myself, and feel like that goal is achievable and anything else is a bonus!
Anyway; I am taking myself to bed! 12 Hour shift tomorrow. Then Birthday celebrations for myself and my friend Gubb!
:)
Wednesday, 13 June 2012
AHOY MATEYS! Back to blogging...
After an amaaaaaaazing week in AYIA F**KING NAPA i am back on home ground, tanned, little burnt and motivated as ever!!!! (and i think i may have brought a bit of the nice weather back! :D)
Would have blogged the first day i got back but i had a ton of sleep to catch up on, celebrated my birthday with my gorgeous boyfriend and been back to work! Holiday mode is officially over!
Can't express what an amaazing time i had, was fantastic! Went on bar crawls, Beach party, some amazing nights out; never drank so much alcohol, so i am on one hell of a detox! we wont get into the food i ate either... but i had a pretty lovely surprise! i weighed myself yesterday, and i have only put on 1lb!!!!!!!!
I was incredibly shocked! There is no exaggeration, i ate and drank a ridiculous amount! but i also danced my ass off for houuurs; not getting home most nights till 6am!
But i am definitely motivated to lose the lbs, boost my self-esteem and not feel so self conscious the next time i go on holiday!
Another lovely surprise i had when i got home was a bunch of flowers from my boyfriend (who i really missed)... trust me, this is an amazing surprise. i have a wonderful boyfriend but he has never ever ever brought me flowers. not in the 5 years of knowing eachother. the closest i got, was an orchid (i love orchids) because he had p**sed me off, and it was brought out of guilt! But these were beautiful flowers! Just what i needed. I celebrated my birthday while i was in Ayia Napa, so when i got home i opened my Birthday cards from my mum, boyfriend, Auntie, Cousin, Friends... and the one i had been dreading. From my Grandad. My nan was always the card writer... Soon as i opened it, i sobbed. It felt like my world had been turned on its head all over again, even though i always new she wouldn't be writing it this year, it was still hard. I am not much of an emotional person, maybe thats my downfall, because when i do finally cry, i just cant stop. I miss her terribly, but i know she will be glad i had a lovely holiday.
I got another lovely surprise too on the Monday Evening... there was a knock on the door and another gorgeous bunch of flowers from Chris, with a card with him telling me how much he has missed me! bless him! neither of us are great with words, but i can safely say we are getting better :) We are planning a trip to Birmingham on Sunday night to visit my family, go out for a meal with them for my birthday; its hard being so far away from them, especially when i have family as amazing as mine; but it means i get to celebrate my birthday a few different times with them, Chris, friends etc... Chris is going to buy me a Pandora for my Birthday present, which i am so excited about. My mum is going to buy me a charm, so is my sister, dad and Chris :) and when i get paid, i am going to buy myself one. As well as all this for my Birthday, I am also about to order The Big Bang Theory Box Set! I love this series! and last night watched the last in Series 5, where Howard and Bernadette finally got married, and he went to space! Sheldon is my favourite character by far, and i think the acting and script are genius! BAZINGA!
Anyway, after all my rambling.... Day one, new day, new me! ( i am sure i have said this 1000000 times, but now my holiday is out the way, i have nothing to take me off track! ) I have started the day with some porridge and an Actimel... although these aren't actual actimel! they are the new Morrisons own owes- much cheaper and lush! I had a blueberry and blackberry one this morning, and its yum! Just deciding what to have for lunch, but i am considering a jacket sweet potato with chicken, beetroot salad and salad! then i am off to work, where i will be taking a Weight Watchers ready meal! I have decided i will go back to Weight Watchers in the next 4-8 weeks, i would just like to try and lose some lbs on my own first :)!
Anyway, as always, im welcome to your support, advice and a good old chit chat!
Ill blog again tomorrow :) (and the day after... and the day after that...)
Soph x
Would have blogged the first day i got back but i had a ton of sleep to catch up on, celebrated my birthday with my gorgeous boyfriend and been back to work! Holiday mode is officially over!
Can't express what an amaazing time i had, was fantastic! Went on bar crawls, Beach party, some amazing nights out; never drank so much alcohol, so i am on one hell of a detox! we wont get into the food i ate either... but i had a pretty lovely surprise! i weighed myself yesterday, and i have only put on 1lb!!!!!!!!
I was incredibly shocked! There is no exaggeration, i ate and drank a ridiculous amount! but i also danced my ass off for houuurs; not getting home most nights till 6am!
But i am definitely motivated to lose the lbs, boost my self-esteem and not feel so self conscious the next time i go on holiday!
Another lovely surprise i had when i got home was a bunch of flowers from my boyfriend (who i really missed)... trust me, this is an amazing surprise. i have a wonderful boyfriend but he has never ever ever brought me flowers. not in the 5 years of knowing eachother. the closest i got, was an orchid (i love orchids) because he had p**sed me off, and it was brought out of guilt! But these were beautiful flowers! Just what i needed. I celebrated my birthday while i was in Ayia Napa, so when i got home i opened my Birthday cards from my mum, boyfriend, Auntie, Cousin, Friends... and the one i had been dreading. From my Grandad. My nan was always the card writer... Soon as i opened it, i sobbed. It felt like my world had been turned on its head all over again, even though i always new she wouldn't be writing it this year, it was still hard. I am not much of an emotional person, maybe thats my downfall, because when i do finally cry, i just cant stop. I miss her terribly, but i know she will be glad i had a lovely holiday.
I got another lovely surprise too on the Monday Evening... there was a knock on the door and another gorgeous bunch of flowers from Chris, with a card with him telling me how much he has missed me! bless him! neither of us are great with words, but i can safely say we are getting better :) We are planning a trip to Birmingham on Sunday night to visit my family, go out for a meal with them for my birthday; its hard being so far away from them, especially when i have family as amazing as mine; but it means i get to celebrate my birthday a few different times with them, Chris, friends etc... Chris is going to buy me a Pandora for my Birthday present, which i am so excited about. My mum is going to buy me a charm, so is my sister, dad and Chris :) and when i get paid, i am going to buy myself one. As well as all this for my Birthday, I am also about to order The Big Bang Theory Box Set! I love this series! and last night watched the last in Series 5, where Howard and Bernadette finally got married, and he went to space! Sheldon is my favourite character by far, and i think the acting and script are genius! BAZINGA!
Anyway, after all my rambling.... Day one, new day, new me! ( i am sure i have said this 1000000 times, but now my holiday is out the way, i have nothing to take me off track! ) I have started the day with some porridge and an Actimel... although these aren't actual actimel! they are the new Morrisons own owes- much cheaper and lush! I had a blueberry and blackberry one this morning, and its yum! Just deciding what to have for lunch, but i am considering a jacket sweet potato with chicken, beetroot salad and salad! then i am off to work, where i will be taking a Weight Watchers ready meal! I have decided i will go back to Weight Watchers in the next 4-8 weeks, i would just like to try and lose some lbs on my own first :)!
Anyway, as always, im welcome to your support, advice and a good old chit chat!
Ill blog again tomorrow :) (and the day after... and the day after that...)
Soph x
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